Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Wedding Ceremony Scripting

I write scripts for a living, and I'm having to reign myself in to not view our ceremony as a script I need to get hammered out!

I've got it saved in a Google Doc, and every time I see something I like, I shamelessly squirrel it away. I'm taking my time with the ceremony, and I am loving it.

When we met with our officiant, who is the pastor at a Unitarian Universalist church we go to whenever we can, he gave us a basic outline and told us to run with it. Everything is up to us--the vows, the readings, the order, everything. I was raised Catholic, where all the choice you really get is with the readings, so when he told us that I felt like he had given me a big fat present with a bow on top.

Ryan hasn't expressed much interest in the ceremony, but he will of course approve everything and is welcome to add whatever he wants. Anyway, here's what I have so far, and please remember that is a work in progress!



Presentation of the Couple/Intentions
--The pastor said some couples do this really neat thing with their parents, where the pastor talks about how they are forming their own new family, etc. He said that the parents almost always get a lot out of it, so I'm thinking we might do something in this vein. I'm not a fan of "do you Mr. Smith present yourself to be joined with...", duh, that's why we're here!

Opening Words
Do you, invited here to witness Stacy and Ryan's matrimonial vows, pledge to support and affirm their union as a community committed to their spiritual and ethical well-being as a couple publicly affirmed as husband and wife?
(This sounds a little formal to me, I want to loosen it up a bit)

--Ruth 1:16
"Entreat me not to leave you, or to return from following you, for where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God."

Affirmation of Marriage
The estate of matrimony is an exalted one indeed. But one that is as full of humor and gladness as it is solemnity and sanctity. I urge you to embrace the absurdity of life as well as its gravity. Be sure you laugh as much as you cry.
Successful marriages are those in which the husband and wife reverence both communion and independence.
Be prepared to compromise, but not at the expense of your deepest convictions. Trust that you have chosen wisely and treat one another compassionately. Accept that while love is of critical importanct, it is not quite enough. Commitment is paramount. Commit yourselves to your union and dedicate your love to the covenant of your marriage.
(I still need to clean this up a bit)


Exchange of Rings

--Apache Blessing
Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be a shelter of the other.
Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be a warmth to the other.
Now you are 2 bodies, but there is only 1 life before you.
Go now to your dwelling place, to enter your days together
And may your days be good and long upon the earth.
Declaration of Marriage


I do want to add another reading, I just have so many that I like and I can't choose! I also want to add something in there about how not everyone can get legally married, and that we look forward to the day when everyone has that right. Some people in my extended family won't like it, but it's not their wedding.

The pastor said most ceremonies are about 30 minutes max, and I think that sounds about right. I haven't even started on the vows yet, I am having a hard time finding anything that comes close to what I will promise Ryan and how I feel about him.

Are you putting together your own ceremony?

1 comment:

  1. I am, but I don't even have a rough idea of how it'll be laid out yet! I have so many ideas and I don't know how to incorporate them!


Hearing from you all makes my day!