I dated once or twice in high school, and then in college I had lots of guy friends. I was in a sorority, but I was closer friends with the guys in Lambda Chi than my own sorority sisters. Dating was never a priority, I always did my own thing. I was always the single girl.
Ryan has been by far my longest term relationship. By the time I met him, I was totally done dating and had my life as a single woman all figured out. He threw a serious wrench into my plans to say the least!
It's just weird to be more worried about someone else than myself. It's weird to include someone else in my life plans, to change my life plans for someone. It's totally bizarre to think of myself as a mom in the next 5 years (hopefully). For so long it was 100% all about me...not in a selfish way, but just because I had no one else to concern myself with. I think this engagement has been helpful in my transition to being part of a team, and not just on my own. I mean, I'm saving money for pretty much the first time in my life so that when Ryan and I combine finances, I have some kind of savings to bring to the table. 2 years ago, those savings would have been spent at J Crew in a heartbeat!
I don't want this to sound like I am upset I have to change my outlook, because I'm not in the least! I am so thrilled that I get to be with Ryan. It is wonderful to be in a relationship and to not have to do things on my own all the time. I just never dreamed that any of this was in the cards for me, I think. And it's only natural to take some time to get used to a new outlook.
Have you found the engagement period to be helpful in terms of transitioning?
The enagagement period was VERY helpful!! OMG, I was a lot like you. I didn't date much in high school or college, I had things I wanted to get done first. I had a goal... And then I met C and he turned my world upside down. And I wouldn't have it any other way. :)
ReplyDeleteI can def relate to what you're saying....everything about it! A longer engagement I think is always better than a really short one. Things are going to change and ideas are going to bond together and lives are going to come together as one. Great post.
ReplyDeletePS I saw this and thought of you!
http://drgilmore.blogspot.com/2009/09/centerpieces.html