Pro: We found out now, and not July 23rd.
Anyone know of a violinist who works for cheap in St. Louis and doesn't have a gig July 24th?
Showing posts with label Ceremony. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ceremony. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Pros and Cons
Con: Our violinist has a busted collarbone. He will not be able to play at the wedding. The music was our wedding gift, we have not budgeted to pay for a ceremony musician.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Ceremony
Our completed ceremony was sent off to our officiant this morning, and he replied with such kind words. He did mention that it would last 15 minutes at most the way we have it now.
I was aiming for 30 minutes. Hmmm.
We have to add to it. I'm going to ask the officiant to add some length to his homily, but that will buy us maybe 2-3 minutes max.
We aren't having any songs in the middle of the ceremony, and we aren't doing a unity candle or sand ceremony or anything. We have one reading that isn't very long.
Thankfully, Ryan has an idea.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Hello Goodbye!
Operation: Have as little of a break between the ceremony and reception as possible.
When there's a huge break between the ceremony and the reception...it's always a bit weird, especially if you're from out of town. The break between our ceremony and reception is 2 hours at most, and the reception hall will be open for our guests to go and relax if they choose. This means we have a small window of time between the ceremony and the reception to take pictures with our wedding party in Forest Park. We're taking as many pictures beforehand as possible with the families at the church pre-ceremony.
Long story short, since the time between the ceremony and reception is so small, doing the traditional receiving line after the ceremony means we would have maybe 30 minutes left for pictures, which definitely doesn't work. We thought about talking to people at the reception, but you really run the risk of not being able to talk to everyone, and some people might not be there, blah blah blah. Plus, the selfish side of me did not want to spend the party portion of the reception making small talk and not partying. I know, call me what you want in the comments, but I've been planning this wedding for over a year and I want to party.
After much deliberation, Ryan and I have decided to have our receiving line before the ceremony at the church. We're going to talk to people as they walk in, before they reach the guest book.
It'll be just Ryan and I; the bridal party and our parents can talk and mingle as they so choose. We'll start greeting people around 4:15, and since the ceremony starts at 5, there's a definite cap on this. Since the ceremony will start promptly at 5, we'll just talk to who we can talk to before then and then retreat around 4:50 or so to get ready for the aisle walk. This way the receiving line can't possibly run on for forever, since we have a ceremony to start.
Quick aside. We are seeing each other before the ceremony, as I'm sure you've deduced. I haven't been hiding pictures of me in my wedding dress from Ryan, and we're getting lots of pictures done before the ceremony together. When we first started wedding planning, I was planning on keeping the first look for the aisle walk, but then I read into the tradition behind it (there's a super brief overview of the tradition here), and we decided that the tradition did not hold a lot of meaning for us.
Ryan mentioned last night that we need to come up with a quick, polite line when people inevitably ask us "But you're seeing each other before the ceremony, isn't that bad luck!?". I suggested something that involved an obscenity, and Ryan suggested something along the lines of "Shut up and go sit down." Obviously neither will work (though I will use the obscenity with my friends), so do you all have any suggestions?
What are you doing for your receiving line?
When there's a huge break between the ceremony and the reception...it's always a bit weird, especially if you're from out of town. The break between our ceremony and reception is 2 hours at most, and the reception hall will be open for our guests to go and relax if they choose. This means we have a small window of time between the ceremony and the reception to take pictures with our wedding party in Forest Park. We're taking as many pictures beforehand as possible with the families at the church pre-ceremony.
Long story short, since the time between the ceremony and reception is so small, doing the traditional receiving line after the ceremony means we would have maybe 30 minutes left for pictures, which definitely doesn't work. We thought about talking to people at the reception, but you really run the risk of not being able to talk to everyone, and some people might not be there, blah blah blah. Plus, the selfish side of me did not want to spend the party portion of the reception making small talk and not partying. I know, call me what you want in the comments, but I've been planning this wedding for over a year and I want to party.
After much deliberation, Ryan and I have decided to have our receiving line before the ceremony at the church. We're going to talk to people as they walk in, before they reach the guest book.
It'll be just Ryan and I; the bridal party and our parents can talk and mingle as they so choose. We'll start greeting people around 4:15, and since the ceremony starts at 5, there's a definite cap on this. Since the ceremony will start promptly at 5, we'll just talk to who we can talk to before then and then retreat around 4:50 or so to get ready for the aisle walk. This way the receiving line can't possibly run on for forever, since we have a ceremony to start.
Quick aside. We are seeing each other before the ceremony, as I'm sure you've deduced. I haven't been hiding pictures of me in my wedding dress from Ryan, and we're getting lots of pictures done before the ceremony together. When we first started wedding planning, I was planning on keeping the first look for the aisle walk, but then I read into the tradition behind it (there's a super brief overview of the tradition here), and we decided that the tradition did not hold a lot of meaning for us.
Ryan mentioned last night that we need to come up with a quick, polite line when people inevitably ask us "But you're seeing each other before the ceremony, isn't that bad luck!?". I suggested something that involved an obscenity, and Ryan suggested something along the lines of "Shut up and go sit down." Obviously neither will work (though I will use the obscenity with my friends), so do you all have any suggestions?
What are you doing for your receiving line?
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Officiating
So you know how I mentioned that our officiant peaced out? And then the church wouldn't call me back with a new one?
Well they did call me back with the name of a minister, and when I called him, he sounded super weird. I was not optimistic.
Last Sunday Ryan and I headed to the church to meet with him. I'm not skilled at keeping emotions off my face, and Ryan said when I shook his hand at first I looked like I was not having it. I need to work on that, that emotions on my face thing.
Anyway, we sat down and talked to him for over an hour.
He is awesome.
He is so weird, but he's like quirky, endearing, awkward weird. We like that weird. He went to a Unitarian Universalist seminary in Chicago and he worked as a UU pastor for 5 years. He stopped doing that to do what he does now; he's a hospice chaplain. Which totally got me, because it takes an unbelievable type of person to be able to do that every day. I was sold as soon as he said that, but the more he talked the more excited I got. When he outlined his religious views for us I wanted to jump up and down....I LOVE the UU church so much, there truly is room for absolutely everyone there. And he really wanted to get to know us, he asked us all about how we met and where we want to be in 5 years, how many kids we want, who pays the bills, etc etc. The pastor who was going to marry us before he peaced out treated our wedding like a job he had to do, but this pastor was so excited, he said that weddings provide a great balance to his day job.
This whole pastor switch up definitely turned out to be a blessing in disguise, and I am super enthused about our ceremony. Ryan and I are working on it this weekend, I'll keep you posted!
Are you excited about the church you're getting married in, or about your officiant? Have you had any seeming-disasters turn into fortunate circumstances?
Well they did call me back with the name of a minister, and when I called him, he sounded super weird. I was not optimistic.
Last Sunday Ryan and I headed to the church to meet with him. I'm not skilled at keeping emotions off my face, and Ryan said when I shook his hand at first I looked like I was not having it. I need to work on that, that emotions on my face thing.
Anyway, we sat down and talked to him for over an hour.
He is awesome.
He is so weird, but he's like quirky, endearing, awkward weird. We like that weird. He went to a Unitarian Universalist seminary in Chicago and he worked as a UU pastor for 5 years. He stopped doing that to do what he does now; he's a hospice chaplain. Which totally got me, because it takes an unbelievable type of person to be able to do that every day. I was sold as soon as he said that, but the more he talked the more excited I got. When he outlined his religious views for us I wanted to jump up and down....I LOVE the UU church so much, there truly is room for absolutely everyone there. And he really wanted to get to know us, he asked us all about how we met and where we want to be in 5 years, how many kids we want, who pays the bills, etc etc. The pastor who was going to marry us before he peaced out treated our wedding like a job he had to do, but this pastor was so excited, he said that weddings provide a great balance to his day job.
This whole pastor switch up definitely turned out to be a blessing in disguise, and I am super enthused about our ceremony. Ryan and I are working on it this weekend, I'll keep you posted!
Are you excited about the church you're getting married in, or about your officiant? Have you had any seeming-disasters turn into fortunate circumstances?
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
A Speed Bump
I called the church we're getting married in yesterday to confirm/double check the times, as our invitations are almost done. I usually get stuck talking to their secretary, who is really nice but doesn't do much with events. Yesterday I got to talk to their official event planner, who is lovely all around and beyond nice. She verified the times, we decided on a time for the rehearsal dinner (7 p.m.), etc, etc...and then she mentioned that the pastor who's going to be marrying us had just announced that he was leaving. She was sooooo upset, and she said she had a whole list of brides to call and she didn't know what to do.
The church was the most important thing to me, just like Ryan's most important deal was the guest list, so I guess I should've been more upset than I am...but I'm not at all. The key thing is the church we're getting married in, not necessarily the pastor. It is so, so important to me that we get married in a church that reflects Ryan and I's values and beliefs, and the Unitarian Universalist church certainly does so. I feel confident that pastor of the UU church will reflect the beliefs important to both Ryan and I, so a pastor switch-up isn't a huge deal to me. Plus, the event coordinator said they have 4 other pastors who are on hand to do weddings for them, and depending on when the pastor who was going to marry us leaves, he might still be able to do it, so it might be a total non-issue. Bottom line, we will have either our pastor marry us, or we'll have the choice of other pastors who can marry us. A pastor from that church will marry us, which seems to me to be the important part.
The biggest thing that could throw a wrench into me being OK with this is that the pastor who was/might still marry us gave us free reign with the ceremony, from start to finish it's been up to us, and we're 85% done writing it, so that would be a problem if the new pastor had their own way of doing it (not that I think they would, it's a UU wedding and they are traditionally highly personalized but still...everyone has their own way of doing things.).
The other problem I forsee if we have to switch pastors....pre-marital counseling. The pastor who was/might still marry us did not require anything that remotely resembled pre-marital counseling. Ryan is concerned that the new pastor will...very concerned. It kind of made his year that we weren't going to have to do it. Side note: In exchange for no marriage prep, we're doing dance lessons...I'll take it.
So yeah...we might be out a pastor. Ryan's more concerned about it than I am, because GOD FORBID we have to do pre-marital counseling (just kidding....kind of, he actually has really good solid reasons that he doesn't want to do it and I have looked into as well and agree with him...just don't tell him that he was right on that front, ok?). But I know that this is going to work out, I am positive of that.
Also, the event coordinator at the church said that we MIGHT be able to rent their fellowship hall for a minimal donation for the rehearsal dinner, which would be excellent news!
Any speed bumps popping up in your way lately?
The church was the most important thing to me, just like Ryan's most important deal was the guest list, so I guess I should've been more upset than I am...but I'm not at all. The key thing is the church we're getting married in, not necessarily the pastor. It is so, so important to me that we get married in a church that reflects Ryan and I's values and beliefs, and the Unitarian Universalist church certainly does so. I feel confident that pastor of the UU church will reflect the beliefs important to both Ryan and I, so a pastor switch-up isn't a huge deal to me. Plus, the event coordinator said they have 4 other pastors who are on hand to do weddings for them, and depending on when the pastor who was going to marry us leaves, he might still be able to do it, so it might be a total non-issue. Bottom line, we will have either our pastor marry us, or we'll have the choice of other pastors who can marry us. A pastor from that church will marry us, which seems to me to be the important part.
The biggest thing that could throw a wrench into me being OK with this is that the pastor who was/might still marry us gave us free reign with the ceremony, from start to finish it's been up to us, and we're 85% done writing it, so that would be a problem if the new pastor had their own way of doing it (not that I think they would, it's a UU wedding and they are traditionally highly personalized but still...everyone has their own way of doing things.).
The other problem I forsee if we have to switch pastors....pre-marital counseling. The pastor who was/might still marry us did not require anything that remotely resembled pre-marital counseling. Ryan is concerned that the new pastor will...very concerned. It kind of made his year that we weren't going to have to do it. Side note: In exchange for no marriage prep, we're doing dance lessons...I'll take it.
So yeah...we might be out a pastor. Ryan's more concerned about it than I am, because GOD FORBID we have to do pre-marital counseling (just kidding....kind of, he actually has really good solid reasons that he doesn't want to do it and I have looked into as well and agree with him...just don't tell him that he was right on that front, ok?). But I know that this is going to work out, I am positive of that.
Also, the event coordinator at the church said that we MIGHT be able to rent their fellowship hall for a minimal donation for the rehearsal dinner, which would be excellent news!
Any speed bumps popping up in your way lately?
Friday, December 18, 2009
Vows
Thanks to Em, Bee, Mrs. B, Chocolate Lover, Alternative Bride, Buhdoop, LauraLou, and Sarah for your kind words yesterday!
I posted a while ago about the tough time I'm having in incorporating Ryan and I's different views of why we're together into our ceremony. It occurred to me a couple days ago that even though I think that Ryan and I were meant to be together, that choices still play a huge part in our relationship. I choose him every day. I could choose to be a single woman and do exactly as I please with no thought to anyone else, but I don't. Instead, I choose to be with him, I choose to make it work, I choose to put the effort in, I choose to cherish him and our relationship. I think that this would be a great thing to put in our vows.
I think that a happy medium has been found my friends!
Are you writing your own vows?
I posted a while ago about the tough time I'm having in incorporating Ryan and I's different views of why we're together into our ceremony. It occurred to me a couple days ago that even though I think that Ryan and I were meant to be together, that choices still play a huge part in our relationship. I choose him every day. I could choose to be a single woman and do exactly as I please with no thought to anyone else, but I don't. Instead, I choose to be with him, I choose to make it work, I choose to put the effort in, I choose to cherish him and our relationship. I think that this would be a great thing to put in our vows.
I think that a happy medium has been found my friends!
Are you writing your own vows?
Monday, December 7, 2009
I was made for you....
Writing our ceremony is harder than I thought, because Ryan feels that we chose each other while I feel like we were made for each other.
How do you incorporate both?
How do you incorporate both?
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Wedding Ceremony Scripting
I write scripts for a living, and I'm having to reign myself in to not view our ceremony as a script I need to get hammered out!
I've got it saved in a Google Doc, and every time I see something I like, I shamelessly squirrel it away. I'm taking my time with the ceremony, and I am loving it.
When we met with our officiant, who is the pastor at a Unitarian Universalist church we go to whenever we can, he gave us a basic outline and told us to run with it. Everything is up to us--the vows, the readings, the order, everything. I was raised Catholic, where all the choice you really get is with the readings, so when he told us that I felt like he had given me a big fat present with a bow on top.
Ryan hasn't expressed much interest in the ceremony, but he will of course approve everything and is welcome to add whatever he wants. Anyway, here's what I have so far, and please remember that is a work in progress!
Prelude
Processional
Presentation of the Couple/Intentions
--The pastor said some couples do this really neat thing with their parents, where the pastor talks about how they are forming their own new family, etc. He said that the parents almost always get a lot out of it, so I'm thinking we might do something in this vein. I'm not a fan of "do you Mr. Smith present yourself to be joined with..."...um, duh, that's why we're here!
Opening Words
Do you, invited here to witness Stacy and Ryan's matrimonial vows, pledge to support and affirm their union as a community committed to their spiritual and ethical well-being as a couple publicly affirmed as husband and wife?
(This sounds a little formal to me, I want to loosen it up a bit)
Reading
--Ruth 1:16
"Entreat me not to leave you, or to return from following you, for where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God."
Affirmation of Marriage
(I still need to clean this up a bit)
Vows
Exchange of Rings
Blessing
--Apache Blessing
I've got it saved in a Google Doc, and every time I see something I like, I shamelessly squirrel it away. I'm taking my time with the ceremony, and I am loving it.
When we met with our officiant, who is the pastor at a Unitarian Universalist church we go to whenever we can, he gave us a basic outline and told us to run with it. Everything is up to us--the vows, the readings, the order, everything. I was raised Catholic, where all the choice you really get is with the readings, so when he told us that I felt like he had given me a big fat present with a bow on top.
Ryan hasn't expressed much interest in the ceremony, but he will of course approve everything and is welcome to add whatever he wants. Anyway, here's what I have so far, and please remember that is a work in progress!
Prelude
Processional
Presentation of the Couple/Intentions
--The pastor said some couples do this really neat thing with their parents, where the pastor talks about how they are forming their own new family, etc. He said that the parents almost always get a lot out of it, so I'm thinking we might do something in this vein. I'm not a fan of "do you Mr. Smith present yourself to be joined with..."...um, duh, that's why we're here!
Opening Words
Do you, invited here to witness Stacy and Ryan's matrimonial vows, pledge to support and affirm their union as a community committed to their spiritual and ethical well-being as a couple publicly affirmed as husband and wife?
(This sounds a little formal to me, I want to loosen it up a bit)
Reading
--Ruth 1:16
"Entreat me not to leave you, or to return from following you, for where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God."
Affirmation of Marriage
The estate of matrimony is an exalted one indeed. But one that is as full of humor and gladness as it is solemnity and sanctity. I urge you to embrace the absurdity of life as well as its gravity. Be sure you laugh as much as you cry.
Successful marriages are those in which the husband and wife reverence both communion and independence.
Be prepared to compromise, but not at the expense of your deepest convictions. Trust that you have chosen wisely and treat one another compassionately. Accept that while love is of critical importanct, it is not quite enough. Commitment is paramount. Commit yourselves to your union and dedicate your love to the covenant of your marriage. (I still need to clean this up a bit)
Vows
Exchange of Rings
Blessing
--Apache Blessing
Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be a shelter of the other.
Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be a warmth to the other.
Now you are 2 bodies, but there is only 1 life before you.
Go now to your dwelling place, to enter your days together
And may your days be good and long upon the earth.
Declaration of Marriage
Kiss
I do want to add another reading, I just have so many that I like and I can't choose! I also want to add something in there about how not everyone can get legally married, and that we look forward to the day when everyone has that right. Some people in my extended family won't like it, but it's not their wedding.
The pastor said most ceremonies are about 30 minutes max, and I think that sounds about right. I haven't even started on the vows yet, I am having a hard time finding anything that comes close to what I will promise Ryan and how I feel about him.
Are you putting together your own ceremony?
Declaration of Marriage
Kiss
I do want to add another reading, I just have so many that I like and I can't choose! I also want to add something in there about how not everyone can get legally married, and that we look forward to the day when everyone has that right. Some people in my extended family won't like it, but it's not their wedding.
The pastor said most ceremonies are about 30 minutes max, and I think that sounds about right. I haven't even started on the vows yet, I am having a hard time finding anything that comes close to what I will promise Ryan and how I feel about him.
Are you putting together your own ceremony?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)