Thursday, December 17, 2009


I was reading Marisa's super insightful blog post here (if you don't read her blog, Not Quite Betty Crocker, you really should, she really talks about marriage itself in such a great way), and it really got me thinking. I spend so much time and energy focusing on the scarcity of time with Ryan. Marisa mentions that she "guards the things she loves jealously," even her time with her husband. I am so guilty of doing this with Ryan.

Instead of focusing on how little time I have with Ryan, I need to focus on the fact that we get to spend 3 weekends out of every month together, and how amazing that time together is. Because when we do see each other, it's incredible. We have long lingering meals at hole-in-the-wall Syrian restaurants. We run, we bike, we walk my dog. He shops with me, we cook together. The time we do spend together is so full, and I cherish it.

(Doesn't that just look abundant?)

Because bottom line, my future husband is not a plane ride away, or in harm's way. He's 2 hours north, and if something awful happened, I could be on the road and getting a hug in 2 hours. That's it. And the situation is not permanent...we're getting married in 7 months, and we won't have to do this long distance thing anymore.

So here's to a new perspective-I am going to focus on the abundance of my relationship with Ryan and not the scarcity.

What do you think, do you focus on scarcity instead of abundance?


  1. Oh I am SO glad to hear you say this. I've been there. Josh and I were 2.5 hours apart for the majority of our relationship. It sucks. I soooo get that. But you're right about focusing on the abundance. You get nothing out of focusing on the fact that you're 2 hours apart. You get *everything* out of enjoying the 6 days every month you get to spend together.

    When I focused on the scarcity, I was zero fun to be around. Who wants to deal with a crying basket-case all the time? I'm surprised Josh dealt with it! But when you decide to suck it up and say "Damn it, I'm NOT going to let this run my life" you automatically feel better. You feel independent and empowered and like "I can do this." And you CAN. Trust me.

    I promise you, when this is all said and done you will not regret doing long-distance. You've experienced something that not many others will. You know what it's like to really miss a person, to not be able to just drive down the street and hang out. You've been able to get to know Ryan on a different level than if you'd been 10 minutes away.

    And now that this has turned into a novel, I'll just say again that I'm so glad you're trying a new outlook :) Keep your head up, girl.

  2. What a positive and uplifting post. I always try to live my life with optimism and see the bigger picture in everything. It's better to focus on the abundance and I'm glad that you are doing that. Love the new perspective! :)

  3. I am always telling the girls I lead in bible study and my family and friends that your circumstances and the emotions and feelings you have from them are all based on your perspective. It's nice that you've been able to change your perspective and see things for the positive and not focus on the things that may be not so positive or frustrating. And as you said, only 7 more months :)

  4. I totally agree with Em! Some times its harder to do than others, but as long as you try you will beat it! And just because you can drive and don't need to take a plane doesn't make it less difficult. But I love your attitude and if/when you need support I am here for you! Hang in there friend!

  5. i love your positive outlook. it's a wonderful way to look at a difficult situation. good luck!

  6. So true. Enjoy what you have :)

  7. I so needed that! I'm in pretty much the exact same situation and I do the same thing. But I only have 5 more months of it (technically 4 since I'm spending the next month at home) and I need to realize I have it SO much better than some girls!

  8. I love the positive attitude! It is so true, you need to count your blessings and be happy about the little things.

  9. I think when you're apart it makes the time you do have together even better. You appreciate each other even more!


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