I unsubscribed from Weddingbee.
Here's why:
If I let a day go by without reading it, there would be so many posts piled up that I felt overwhelmed.
I have been disappointed in the bee bloggers who start blogging and then blog again a month later...or the bee's who never finish their wedding recaps. I hate getting invested in someone's story only to be left hanging. It also feels that the weddings they've been featuring lately are very, very similar, and there isn't very much inspiration to pull from them anymore.
Most importantly, it was making me lose perspective in a big way. All of those details seem kind of silly to me, and inauthentic. (I'm not talking about every bee blogger by any means, FYI, there are some kick-*ss writers on that site who have amazing weddings). I feel like I've been focusing on stupid, stupid things lately, and it's making me completely burnt out on this wedding. The stuff I should be excited to do, like crafting our ceremony and writing my vows, I don't feel like doing because I've wasted all this energy on whether we should have table numbers or not, etc.
Once again, I am not talking about 100% of the bee bloggers on that site...just the majority of them. There are some standouts that I will miss, and I might go back and read how Mrs. Cowboy Boot's reception turned out, but that will be about it.
I lost my fascination with the boards about a month ago when it felt like every other post was from one of the waiting girls (I know how it feels to want to be engaged so badly, but some of their stories are kind of frightening!) and there was an offensive post on gay marriage.
I don't want to sound like I'm knocking anyone's decision to read the site, it's an incredible resource. I am just trying to narrow my focus, that's all!
Do you read the bee?
I feel ya girl. I still use the boards but I'm underwhelmed by the blogs. YOU GO!
ReplyDelete-Miss Pug
I agree! There are a few bloggers on there that I still follow, but lately they feel very blah to me. I also stopped posting on the boards as much because every time I go there it's pretty much all similar topics, mostly about the waiting gals. I don't think I'm at the point where I unsubscribe, but we'll see. Good for you though!!
ReplyDeletePolitely, no. I agree with you on so many points! I stopped reading it about a month before our wedding. I didn't need any inspiration by that point, but what was offered wasn't all that useful to me personally. I thought I'd go back, I mean I was OBSESSED from about April to July, but while on our honeymoon new bees came and I couldn't get into it anymore. And, I agree, I was so bummed by Mrs. Spring Roll who got married and dropped off the site - where were her recaps, her honeymoon, all the goods. Way to go to simplify for you!!! :-D
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ReplyDeleteWell you know Miss Crack Pipe's totally with you ;)
ReplyDelete(I too am deciding whether or not to stop following the bee for all the reasons you just listed!)
You know, I don't think I'm going to completely unsubscribe from WB, but I do think I'm going to limit what posts I read. I'm already sort of doing that, but I think I need to do it more. For example, I really don't care about anyone's location search. Been there, done that.
ReplyDeleteI've been SUPER busy for the past few days and at the end of the day when I sit down with my Google Reader and see "25 unread" from WB, I'm just like "Ugh I can't do this." Plus I think they're introducing too many new people too quickly. Keeping track of them all is really tough.
Oh, and I SO feel you on the boards thing. I still use them, but not nearly as much as I used to. The waiting girls (quite frankly) scare me a little bit. Again, been there, done that.
Also, I take it you decided not to become a Bee?
I read the Bee and I agree with your points. When I started reading it, I really liked several of the bloggers at the time (Mrs. Cheese, Mrs. Meatball/Broke Ass Bride, Mrs. Star, Mrs. Apple Cider, Mrs. Swan, etc.) and I still want to read their recaps. (I agree--I hate when people stop writing them--they got accepted to the Bee to blog, not keep people waiting!) I also agree that while there are some standouts (like Miss Cola, but I read her personal blog) I don't feel as connected to the newer bloggers. I'm also not sure if it's because I read WB in my google reader, but I keep confusing them! (Or maybe it's because their weddings are getting similar...) I'm going to keep it on my reader for a while longer at least. If something doesn't interest me, I just skim or skip it.
ReplyDeleteI also considered applying for a while (it's still too early though) because I loved how Mrs. Swan added some additional diversity to the bloggers and thought it would be nice to have another African American blogger representing! But I don't think I will anymore. We'll see if I change my mind, but I like being part of this other community of bloggers, who visit each other's personal blogs and where our personalities can really shine through. :o)
I found a few bee bloggers I liked a while back, but I began following their personal blogs instead of the bee once eharmony bought the site. I sometimes check the boards though, particularly if I have a specific question. It's one of the more active board communities - better than Kvetch or Offbeat Bride for instant feedback - and not as judgmental as the knot.
ReplyDeleteI generally don't subscribe to sites that update 25 times a day - not my news, my gossip or my wedding reads. It stresses me out in my rss and I don't need that. I visit at my leisure and pick what matters to me.
I feel the same way. I unsubscribed to the blog posts because I guess I just stopped caring. I never really felt connected to any of the bees anyway. I still visit the boards periodically, mainly because I learned so much by planning and having our wedding, I like being able to help others out (plus, it's a nice distraction from a long day at the office). But I've been commenting less and less...it just feels so different there lately. I've replaced my Google Reader with lots of blogs from some of the awesome girls that write on the boards and some others I've found along the way. It makes me feel more connected to a real person to visit their personal blog.
ReplyDeleteDoes anyone have a list of the bee's personal blogs? I don't rss to the bee because they post too often but there are a few out there (like Miss Poodle!) who I'd love to stay updated with... help?!
ReplyDeleteI started reading weddingbee when there was Mrs. Cider, Mrs. Stiletto, Hot Cocoa...now all of them are really plain and all the same. I'm still reading weddingbee, but I don't check two times a day anymore. It used to be a lot more interesting. A lot of the new bees are accepted and then they don't write more posts until a little later...I'm frankly disappointed since I had applied and they refused me. If you check out the new bees 3/4 are getting married in March/April.
ReplyDeleteI agree with all of you guys. I've definitely been pretty disappointed with all of the new bees. I used to be OBSESSED with WB and now if I make it over there every couple of days its a good thing. As for the boards, I was never able to get fully into them because, like you guys have mentioned, a lot of its all about the waiting girls, and sorry but a lot of them sound kind of pathetic. I still check it out, but I'm finding myself skipping more and more posts lately and not caring enough to leave a comment.
ReplyDeleteI actually went to the WB a couple of times but could never really get into it. Something about the site didn't seem very user friendly to me to navigate. I felt like there was too much going on and it was just confusing. I have heard all these ladies just rave about it and share about how they dreamed of being a 'bee' but personally, I'm much happier out here in the general blogosphere. I am a featured blogger on sites like Get Married's Blogger Brides and Weddzilla and to me, those sites are a lot easier to simply browse and follow and don't necessarily have ridiculously intensive application processes. :)
ReplyDeleteI have started skimming more. I got married in July so the planning stuff is less interesting, I'm more interested in recaps and I too am frustrated by disappearing bees. I kind of went throught the archives a bit (unemployed...cough cough) and there have been a lot of bees that haven't finished. It's really crappy when there are so an girls who want to be bees and then there are bees who blow it off. I've also noticed the vibe on the message boards change the last 2 months towards waiting girls. It takes away from it really being about weddings and makes it more about nervous energy. That's kind of harsh, but true..
ReplyDeleteWB is something I was never able to get into. A few months ago, after seeing that some other bloggers were talking about the site a lot, I decided to add it to my blog list. But about week later I removed it. It was too frequent and just too much for me. Plus I never was able to feel connected to invested in it. I follow some of the bees on their personal blog and I prefer it that way. Some ladies became bees after I was already following them, but I've continued to just read their personal blogs. I feel like that where I got to know them from and trying to figure out which "Miss" they are is too much work (if it isn't explicitly stated on their blog).
ReplyDeleteI also have an issue with the fact that WB belongs to e-harmony and they discriminate against equality in marriage.
I used to be totally obsessed, and I'll be honest, I still read it quite frequently, but I haven't been very impressed with the new bees. I feel like I don't really relate to quite a few of the new ones and either skip over their posts or don't comment. And it probably doesn't help that they applied around the same time I did and I got rejected. I can't make up my mind about whether I want to reapply or not.
ReplyDeletePS - I totally agree that it can get overwhelming and take your focus away from the important parts of the wedding - like that whole GETTING MARRIED part.
OUCH
ReplyDeleteIt's so interesting to see this post. I posted about Weddingbee a few weeks ago. I had been seeing references to it EVERYWHERE, but it didn't seem that amazing to me, so I asked what the big deal was. I got a lot of positive comments about it so decided to sign up for an account.
ReplyDeleteNow, two weeks later, I am addicted to the boards. I really like giving and getting advice and connecting to real brides. I don't read the blogs at all, so I agree with you there - too many updates, too many similar weddings, etc.
I find intriguing that from after I wrote about it, it seemed like everyone thought that Weddingbee was this amazing wonderful place, and I thought I was the only one that had some doubts about it. But now, it seems like a lot of girls feel more negatively about it as well.
Anyway, thanks for posting on this!
@ Hannah - I follow several of them on their personal blogs. Miss Poodle's is http://kenandjoy.blogspot.com, Miss Trail Mix's is http://runrgurl10.blogspot.com/, Miss Cola's is http://handcraftedhitchingpost.blogspot.com/ and then I follow a lot of the older brides: Mrs. Cupcake, Mrs. Sea Breeze, Mrs. Dumpling, Mrs. Shortcake, Ms. Snapdragon, Mrs. Avocado, and maybe a few others (like I said, I LOVE the older bees!) and I can get you the links to those if you want them.
ReplyDelete@ rungirl - You and Miss Cola are two of my favorite bees currently blogging! I should've said that when I said I didn't relate to some of the new ones. I love that I've followed both of you for months, and now you're bees!
Ooops!! Sorry Runrgurl10!!!
ReplyDeleteI probably could have worded that a little better! I've been following you and Miss Cola on here before you became a Bee and I'd much rather follow your personal blogs instead of reading them over on WB.
So a correction would be I'm disappointed with most of the newer Bees, and how the old bees aren't finishing their recaps. Those are some of my favorite posts!
That site really confuses me. All the updates for all the different weddings! Ahhhhhh
ReplyDeleteGood for you! I know what you mean about most of the weddings feeling the same. There is nothing that really makes them stand out (except a few, like Miss CB, like you mentioned, which explains why I've featured some of her pics from Tec).
ReplyDeleteI hardly read the posts, to be honest. I only look at the pictures for something interesting.
@runrgurl--I mentioned several times that I didn't feel this way about every Bee. I'm disappointed in the site in general. I also mentioned that I was trying to narrow my focus and not criticize anyone's decision to follow, so I hope you didn't take anything personally. I know we're all proud to have a Bee in our ranks!
ReplyDeleteI'm totally turned off from the boards lately, I agree with most of you. I think I just got so engrossed in some of the "older" bees, that I haven't been able to fully identify with some of the newer ones. I'm hoping that as the planning goes on, more will entice me to read. I still really enjoy some of the newer Bees, but maybe in a few months, there will be a new group that seems to "speak" to me just like in the past. Who knows!
ReplyDeleteWell, I will admit that I'm still kind of obsessed with the thought of becoming a Bee...but I have kind of stopped reading every post as in depth as I used to. If it is on a topic that I already have scheduled and don't need advice/inspiration on, I click right past it.
ReplyDeleteOk, and I do know what you're saying about the "waiting" girls on the boards...every time I go over to them there seems to be 1-2 girls that I continually see making posts/comments on everything...I don't get it...perhaps I don't have the right perspective because I didn't find the site until after I was engaged?