Monday, November 23, 2009

The Holiday Dilemma

How do you and your fiance(e)/hubs/wife/partner work out the holidays?

Ryan and I have figured this year out....Thanksgiving we're each doing with our respective families, and I'm going up to St. Louis Thanksgiving evening (his family does the Black Friday shopping at the buttcrack of dawn...I have never done it, and does anyone know if J Crew has Black Friday sales?). Side note: I'm actually really excited to do this shopping thing. I'm pretty much done with my Christmas shopping (I know how annoying that sounds, but I HATE crowds so I am usually done by Halloween), so I'm just along for the ride.


So there's Thanksgiving. In terms of Christmas, I'm going up on Christmas Eve to spend the day with his family. I'm going to an evening service at my church (which I am crazy excited about) and then I'm heading back to my hometown that night to spend Christmas day with my family. Ryan is coming down to visit with my family the day after Christmas.

(How creepy is that baby Jesus?!)

I have no idea what we're going to do next year! My first thought is we'll alternate Thanksgiving every year, and then one year do Christmas Eve with one family and Christmas day with the other, then switch, but that is definitely up for debate. We talked a little about it this weekend, and we might do Christmas Eve evening with his family, then drive to my hometown, do Christmas morning and brunch with my family, then drive up to St. Louis to do stuff with his family. That way we can both be with our families on Christmas day.

I'd love to hear how you all handle it. I can't imagine not waking up at my parent's house on Christmas morning...and I'm 23. That's so lame sounding, but still! So what arrangement have you come up with?


  1. it's so hard! Alternating works because it shows you are willing to give up one year of your own traditions to be together. There is also the idea of you and Ryan hosting the holiday next year and inviting both sides to come so everyone is in one place. I know it's hard to give up the traditions you have lived with your whole life but try and think of your new life with Ryan as the beginning of new traditions with your new family of two!

  2. Aw man, I forgot the shopping is going to be crazy crowded from here until Christmas.

    This is our first Thanksgiving and we are going to spend it together. I'm excited!

  3. Since my fiance works with sports "holidays" can be a really tough challenge. Thankfully, he always gets Thanksgiving off but he has to work all the days surrounding it. Since we do not get much time to travel we invite everyone to our house for the big turkey day. This way he doesn't have to travel after work and rush back into town and we can have both his family and my family all together.

    Christmas is a little harder for us as both of our parents are divorced. Ever see the movie 4 Christmases? Well, that's what we do EVERY Christmas! We're just happy that everyone lives within 4 hours of each other so we get a fun tour of central Florida.

  4. We spend the holidays with our respective families- we decided that it wasn't fair to either one of our families to not spend it with them. His side of the family is in the East Coast (we love in West Coast) & my family is very small (my brothers, parents, 2 aunts & 2 cousins) so it's really important to us to be with them during the holidays. We still celebrate the holiday together but just make our own special day.

  5. We will be at our own parents homes Christmas morning and then meet up later in the day. It i hard to balance this and I agree with Westside Wedding, it is unfair to the family we won't be spending the time with.
    Let you something on my blog btw :)

  6. For the first time we are spending Christmas together at my parent's house. With 2 older sisters who have partners and in-laws to please we aren't all managing to get together for Christmas day - but hopefully Boxing Day. We'll be spending New Year with the in-laws. It's difficult to please everyone all of the time.

  7. We're still up in the air with what we'll do when we're married, because his parents live 2 states away. This year though we'll be spending Thanksgiving locally with my family, and spending Christmas apart. But I'll be flying up to see his folks on the morning after Christmas at least. It will be so much harder to figure out when/if we have kids. P.S. that baby Jesus IS creepy!

  8. Ahh, I just wrote a post about this and it's scheduled to post tomorrow. It has caused us a lot of stress this year! I'm not looking forward to the mess it'll be when we have kids. :( On the other hand, though, I'm so thankful that we both have loving families to spend the holidays with!

  9. It changes every year. But usually, we go to Florida every year over Christmas. We split Thanksgiving and we visit the fiance's parents the week before we leave for Florida in December.

    It all really depends on how we're feeling that year. We sort of want to start a "Until we have kids, we are doing our own thing" tradition.

  10. We've spent holidays apart for the last couple of years since we were in college and each went to our respective family's home. This year we're doing Thanksgiving at my house and Christmas at his, with plans to switch next year.

    I think there are any number of compromises on this issue that work as long as the distribution of time between the families is roughly fair and you guys aren't running around from family to family too much.

    To be honest, I don't understand couples who spend holidays apart after getting engaged. Maybe it's just my cultural background, but I think that getting engaged is a commitment to make a family with the other person and put that family as your first priority. My parents are of this mindset as well, so they don't mind not seeing us each holiday.

  11. We try to alternate. Although Mr B's mother is a little demanding and wants us every year. My mother on the other hand is completely chilled. If we have Christmas with Mr B's family we generally go home to my family and have another Christmas day. My mum says it doesn't matter what the actual date is - it can still be Christmas. Works well for us and we get two holidays!

    You could always have it at yours next year and make everyone come to you?

  12. We had to do two different Thanksgiving meals this year! Thankfully, Justin's fam does their meal at 12/1pm, and we did my family's at worked out pretty well! Sadly, we won't be back to FL for Xmas, which is slightly depressing...but we'll make the best of it!


Hearing from you all makes my day!