Tuesday, April 13, 2010

A Speed Bump

I called the church we're getting married in yesterday to confirm/double check the times, as our invitations are almost done. I usually get stuck talking to their secretary, who is really nice but doesn't do much with events. Yesterday I got to talk to their official event planner, who is lovely all around and beyond nice. She verified the times, we decided on a time for the rehearsal dinner (7 p.m.), etc, etc...and then she mentioned that the pastor who's going to be marrying us had just announced that he was leaving. She was sooooo upset, and she said she had a whole list of brides to call and she didn't know what to do.

The church was the most important thing to me, just like Ryan's most important deal was the guest list, so I guess I should've been more upset than I am...but I'm not at all. The key thing is the church we're getting married in, not necessarily the pastor. It is so, so important to me that we get married in a church that reflects Ryan and I's values and beliefs, and the Unitarian Universalist church certainly does so. I feel confident that pastor of the UU church will reflect the beliefs important to both Ryan and I, so a pastor switch-up isn't a huge deal to me. Plus, the event coordinator said they have 4 other pastors who are on hand to do weddings for them, and depending on when the pastor who was going to marry us leaves, he might still be able to do it, so it might be a total non-issue. Bottom line, we will have either our pastor marry us, or we'll have the choice of other pastors who can marry us. A pastor from that church will marry us, which seems to me to be the important part.

The biggest thing that could throw a wrench into me being OK with this is that the pastor who was/might still marry us gave us free reign with the ceremony, from start to finish it's been up to us, and we're 85% done writing it, so that would be a problem if the new pastor had their own way of doing it (not that I think they would, it's a UU wedding and they are traditionally highly personalized but still...everyone has their own way of doing things.).

The other problem I forsee if we have to switch pastors....pre-marital counseling. The pastor who was/might still marry us did not require anything that remotely resembled pre-marital counseling. Ryan is concerned that the new pastor will...very concerned. It kind of made his year that we weren't going to have to do it. Side note: In exchange for no marriage prep, we're doing dance lessons...I'll take it.

So yeah...we might be out a pastor. Ryan's more concerned about it than I am, because GOD FORBID we have to do pre-marital counseling (just kidding....kind of, he actually has really good solid reasons that he doesn't want to do it and I have looked into as well and agree with him...just don't tell him that he was right on that front, ok?). But I know that this is going to work out, I am positive of that.

Also, the event coordinator at the church said that we MIGHT be able to rent their fellowship hall for a minimal donation for the rehearsal dinner, which would be excellent news!

Any speed bumps popping up in your way lately?


  1. I just blogged about how we're so excited about premarital counseling! Our officiant is not requiring any but it is extremely important to both Pete and I that we get an outsider's view and opinions. We both know that we are no where near experts on marriage (esp since we've never done it before!) and we're excited to find out what we'll learn!

  2. Premarital counseling! Eek!!! Mr. Knight isn't into it either, so we decided to forgo it... seeing as we made it this far (8 years), but I still think it might have been helpful! We do feel like we are married already, since living together for so long, sharing $, payments, stock, etc. So... for us the marriage is a big party, and a piece of paper. But a super fun and chic big party! :-)

  3. When I read the title of this I was terrfied that it was going to say they had lost your booking or something. So I'm kind of relieved :)

    Out of interest, why did you decide against pre-marital counselling?

  4. I loved our pre-engagement counseling! :) Not sure what kinds you've looked into or what possibilities are open to you where you live, but we found a person that aligned with our beliefs. She agreed to do it for us for free; she saw it as her gift to couples to do 2 sessions with them. I gained such valuable life wisdom from our pre-engagement counselor; the realizations she guided me to (by simply asking me some questions I hadn't considered and suggesting I think about a few things) in those two sessions really did change my life. And now that my husband and I already did that, if we ever needed to go talk to someone someday, I think I would be a lot easier...

  5. As you know our wedding lead up was like a road full of pot holes! But so far married life has been smooth sailing.

    Is that picture the church you are getting married in? It looks gorgeous.


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