Monday, October 26, 2009

The Knot

I joined The Knot shortly after Ryan and I got engaged, mainly for the dress pictures.

The dress pictures were great, even though their selection that fit within my budget was pretty small. The boards were OK, but I'm a much bigger fan of the WeddingBee boards. They are light on the DIY projects, mostly because they seem to be very "buy this" oriented.

Here's my point though. I was watching "Who's Wedding Is It Anyways" a few Sundays ago, I think it was, and their editor-in-chief Carley Don'tKnowHerLastName was doing these little 20 second "advice to brides" pieces. One of her big tips was as follows (not word for word, but this is the gist of it): "Don't serve your guests $9 entrees, cut your guest list so you can serve your guests a proper meal."

Really, lady? I'm slightly offended...the food we're serving our guests is not very far above the $9/person mark. I know for a fact that most of my family and friends would much rather be there and eat cheaper food than not be there so a few people can have a 4 course meal. Ryan and I would much rather serve cheaper food and have everyone there that we care about. Besides the fact that, what the hell is wrong with a $9 entree? As if it being a "mere" $9 makes it bad or something? Because our food is sooo good, and it isn't costing us a freaking fortune.

It just bothers me that materialism over family and friends is being pushed. That a set way to do things is supposed to be followed. I have no problem with people who choose to cut their guest list in favor of a nicer meal or venue. If that's what's going to make you happy, please do it! Having everyone we care about at our wedding is what's going to make us happy, so that's the direction we're going. People shouldn't be made to feel "less" either way, and that woman was making me feel "less."

And their to-do lists? They can suck it. I guess I'm just not a Knot fan.

Has anyone had better experience with the Knot than me?


  1. Amen! Why should we cut our friends and family members out of a special occasion in our lives, just for the food???

    PS. I only joined the knot for the dress pictures too, and occasionally some of the wedding stories :)

  2. That's horrible! Our meals aren't much over that mark either and I really don't think anyone is going to care. And, like you said, I'd much rather have all my friends and family there than serve some pretentious meal!

  3. I think that advice may have been referring to this (from the knot website)?
    Bad Advice: "My mother-in-law said that it was perfectly fine to spend $9 a plate on dinner for our guests. She based this on my sister-in-law's wedding, where they served cold meat sandwiches, au gratin potatoes, and questionable-looking fruit salad." Morgan, Madison WI
    Our Advice: Food is one detail every guest remembers. Whatever your budget, you should allot about 40 percent of it for wedding catering. Work with your caterer to prepare a menu within your budget and try to cut costs in other ways (like by trimming your wedding guest list) rather than skimp on the meal.

    I think they actually addressed the issue pretty fairly in the article (maybe on the TV blurb it sounded more judgmental). I'm not sure what your catering arrangement is, but generally, it's difficult to buy good food for $9 a plate. If you were able to do that, I'm jealous, because the quotes I'm getting are closer to $100-$150 per head, even for simple meals. I think you're right that a couple's family and closest friends would want to come even if you fed them cold sandwiches, but that doesn't mean they wouldn't appreciate or don't deserve a yummy meal. I think at least to some extent, the wedding should be not just about what makes you happy, but what makes your guests happy. That said, I'm sure you are feeding your guests well, so don't feel like the advice is directed against you.

    PS I am also not a big fan of theKnot to do lists...they always make me feel like I'm not doing enough!

  4. I was watching 'Masters of Reception' the other night and a Bride had to move her outdoor wedding inside to either a chapel or the downstairs of this castle. She had 200 guests. She choose moving her wedding to the chapel (which only holds 100 guests). So when guests arrived they were told if they weren't on the 'new' list that they weren't going to see the wedding and would be directed straight to the cocktail hour. Can you imagine going to a wedding expecting to see someone get married and then be told you didn't make the cut?

    I was a little appalled seeing this. She chose a small (and beautiful) chapel over the downstairs of a castle (which was equally as beautiful in my mind and could have fit all her guests). Weird. Your story of the $9 entree just reminded me of this.

  5. I too joined the knot when we were first engaged and a friend of mine bought me The knot book of lists for weddings. While I've found the book useful in getting an idea of what goes into a wedding I haven't really been checking out the site much at all.

  6. We needed to cut our budget and by going with bbq we were able to really slash the catering budget. I think its easier to plan a more budget friendly wedding in the midwest too.

  7. @ Miss Gator - I saw that episode too.. That was awful!

    I don't really like the Knot either. I only joined for flower inspiration. :)

  8. Those blurbs during Who's Wedding Is It Anyway are so annoying! I think it's just a quick ploy to make brides feel like they're missing something and run to And what is so wrong with $9 related to weddings? When she said that, it reminded me of the crazy girl from NY on Bridezillas the last few episodes who is always yelling at people, criticizing them because they make $9 an hour. LOL!

  9. I can see your point. She wasn't so much as making a hit at the $9 meal, as much as she was saying that the easiest way to cut costs at your wedding is to cut the guest list (especially if you have a large guest list). The smaller the list, the harder it is to cut down the list - so I understand your feelings. You'll see that point made all over the internet. I don't think she was right in bashing a $9 meal - everyone has a different budget, and she wasn't very sensitive to that.

    But as a side note, I'm not a huge Knot fan either. The pictures are helpful, but I found more help over on Project Wedding.

  10. I like The Knot only for the abundance of pictures and also the local board is MUCH more active than the local boards on any other site.

    I agree... it should be food YOU feel comfortable with. I hate the "you must do this" things... there is nothing you MUST do for a wedding. You can have monkeys as attendants and serve birdseed in wine glasses... and if that's what you want, do it. UGH to TK!

    -Miss Pug


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