Pages

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Anonymity

If I could do this blog thing all over again (and I very might after the nuptials), I would blog anonymously.



There is stuff I do not get into on this blog, because I have family members who occasionally stop by this little corner of the Internet. If I blogged anonymously, I would get into it. I don't know if that's a good thing - me unloading isn't pretty - but there is stuff I leave out and subjects I avoid.

I still have a (mostly) accurate journal of my wedding planning with this blog, and the friendships I have made with you wonderful readers are invaluable to me. I have no idea if those friendships would be any less/more if I blogged under a pseudonym (I cannot believe I spelled that right the first time!). I haven't spent much time considering the ethics of blogging under a pseudonym, but I don't see much wrong with it (unless you're using anonymity to really hurt someone). Maybe I need to think about it more.

This is really more of a think-it-through-as-I-type-it-out post, I suppose, but I'd love to know what you think, because I know there are some anonymous bloggers out there. So tell me, do you blog publicly or privately? Have you had to hold back on your blog? Are you glad you blog anonymously?

17 comments:

  1. I'm kind of with you... in a way I'm glad that family/friends stop by and leave comments on ideas and things that I have, however there are SOOO many frustrations I've had that I'd like to vent about but can't because they are either a) concerning the family/friends who read the blog, or b) will get back to the person via those who read the blog. I really don't know what I would do if I were doing it again...

    ReplyDelete
  2. I agree with you too. Our save the dates (that I didn't scratch out our last name... when you work for a public institution your salary is public, so really...) were posted on a fellow bloggers site and I thought nothing of it.

    Until... one of my fiance's coworkers came in asking about how we made them! I guess his fiancee is a regular reader of the other blog and figured out it was us :(

    Not only are this coworker and his fiancee NOT invited but I feel awkward writing anything about his work on it knowing she may be secretly reading!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I agree with you too. I feel like I could be much more open about things (guest list frustrations!) if my blog was anonymous. But then, this is my second blog, and last time around, I was anonymous and didn't fully enjoy it either! Grass is always greener, I suppose.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Dude, there are some days when I really wish I was anon. A friend from my hometown (who is invited) told me out of the blue that he heard I have a blog. Apparently his sister randomly found it (she's not engaged/married or anything). That was VERY strange.

    There are times when I really need to vent and I'd love to just put it all out there. But I don't because I know that with my luck, I'd be found out. I actually just wrote a vent post but put it in very vague terms. I find that if I talk about issues in broad terms that I can still get my point across

    ReplyDelete
  5. I blog publicly though I guess it is sort of private in that the only people who would be able to find my blog are my mom and sister. I have not shared it with any of my family and friends. It's kind of my 'private' place to vent and share and gain objective opinions. There was one post several weeks ago that I did on my frustration with my future in-laws about their complaints about the cost of the tuxedo rentals...I received lots of comments on it, too. But one 'anonymous' person asked if i was worried that one of them might see the blog? Knowing that they are not blog followers at all and probably don't even know I have one let alone how to find it, I responded that it wasn't a concern. But after a day or two of rethinking it, I thought that even though they will probably never see or find it, out of respect for them, I removed the post. I didn't mention any of them by name at all, but still just felt like to be safe I should probably remove it. I still kind of wish I left it up because it was in fact frustrating and part of the real planning process us brides endure...I won't back down on venting when necessary, but some stuff I do scale back on.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Not only have i found myself holding back, i have also kept my blog a secret from some friends and family members - so i feel caught on both sides. I'm with ya - i think i might have stayed anonymous but then that seems a bit like hiding and not honesty for some reason. if you need a good honest vent you hit me up on the IM missy!xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  7. I blog publically and share it with my friends and family. I think that given my writing and journalism background, I’m used to putting my name and face out there with my work. Even if I blogged anonymously, I don’t think I’d get into too many sticky issues, since I think there’s always a way for it to be traced back to me and because there are some things I prefer to just keep entirely private.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Although I don't share my name...I share pictures, so is that kind of keeping it anonymous? I'm not sure. But I can say that I didn't share my blog with any family for a few months, and only with close friends at first.

    Now, I wish that more of my family read my blogs to keep up with me because with such a large family I have to re-tell so many things...especially now that I'm pregnant.

    But yes, I hold things back that I really wish that I could say. And I've blasted people on my blog, and then crossed my fingers that they still don't read it...I really think that it's a double-edged sword.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I too have used pseudonyms in my blog and have never mentioned anyone by name, but do have pictures up there so someone can put 2 and 2 together if they found it. With a few exceptions in my immediate family and very close friends, no one knows I have this blog and I like it this way. So far I haven't felt the need to vent too much but I have posts coming up that are more private and personal, and I have taken the approach Em suggested and talked about the issue in broad terms. To be honest if it were only up to me I would be more inclined to say it as it is (after all it is my perspective), but since it also involves Mr. Milk, I felt a need to protect him and respect his wishes.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Oh girl. You know how I feel about this. I think it's a growing problem as our parents discover technology more and more. Did you see the girl on WB whose FMIL MADE A WB ACCOUNT and slammed her post (the post the bride wrote about her FMIL?) Like, she just needed to vent, and this FMIL coudln't leave it alone?

    There are SO many things I wish I could say!!!

    -kjpugs

    ReplyDelete
  11. I have my public blog (obviously), but I also have an anonymous blog. One to openly blog about wedding stuff and the other to rant and rave about life.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I wish I was still anonymous. But I realised that I'd want to share my wedding pictures, so you can only be so anonymous once your mug is out there in internet land. However I don't tell people in my real life about the blog. I do censor myself a little, but I'm pretty tell it like it is anyway, so if people did read it that know me in real life they'd probably know most of it anyway. You can come rant in my comment box if you want to get it out!

    ReplyDelete
  13. I totally understand blogging anonymously, I feel like too often, I use my blog as an area to vent, when I meant to use it to get advice or throw ideas out into the 'cyber world'. I feel that no one really knows I have my blog except Ryan and a very few others, and I really like that. Maybe you should start another blog without your name?

    ReplyDelete
  14. Its a give and take. I like blogging anonymously, but sometimes I want to show cute pictures of us. 10,000 wedding is a good example of anonymous blogging. Max Wanger shot her photos, so if you really wanted to know what she looked like you can search his blog. I think most people are just happy with her wit.

    I would like to start a blog that isn't anonymous, maybe after our wedding.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I totally feel you! I didn't tell my mom about my blog for the longest time, but after I did, she told EVERYONE! I jokingly said to my family members over the holidays, "now I can't talk bad about you on my blog"...but it's true! Censoring yourself for the sake of people you know who read your blog sucks.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I started blogging anonymously and now everyone sort of knows my name. It doesn't really bother me much. I don't censor myself really. I do pseudonym for everyone else in my life because I figure they didn't ask to be in my blog and if something happens to them because I was an idiot I could never forgive myself. Shoestring Boy has opted to share his real name and after a while so did I. I don't think a lot of people in real life read my blog (except my sister, bless her heart). Besides, I am pretty upfront with people. You will always know where you stand with me. There is nothing on my blog about another person that I have not already told that person to their face.

    ReplyDelete
  17. i figure nothing is really anonymous anymore...with facebook, twitter, blogs etc...people can find out who you are if they really wanted to. But yeah...i think i "refrain" from writing on certain topics because i know certain people might be reading.

    ReplyDelete

Hearing from you all makes my day!