Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Caring and How We Just Don't Right Now

So....we're 4 days out, and a wave of apathy has washed over both Ryan and I. Which is unfortunate, because at least ONE of us needs to care long enough to make decisions.

Here's what I mean.

Saturday we're at Costco with Ryan's mom, buying cups for the reception. Since we're bringing everything in to the reception hall ourselves (and consequently saving a ton of money), we are responsible for the cups for both the bar and everyone else. So we needed cups for the water/iced tea/lemonade and for the beer, wine and signature drink (which is cranberry juice, rum, and pineapple juice. Anyone got any funny name ideas?). We bought clear plastic 14 or 16 ounce cups for the beer, iced tea/water/lemonade, and we were buying clear plastic 10 ounce cups for the signature drink that we were also going to use for wine.

Ryan's mom really didn't think the 10 ounce cups would work for wine, and she had some in mind that she thought would look better. She pretty much insisted on them, which is fine, I don't really care one way or the other, but Ryan and I are in this streamlining mode...where if we have to invest a single iota of extra effort into it, then we are not interested. The 10 ounce cups didn't look bad, and they were THERE...the other cups were at Sam's Club and would require an additional trip. Which we were 100% uninterested in. So Ryan's mom is telling us how she can go and get them and we won't have to mess with it, and Ryan curls up in the fetal position, on the floor of Costco, and lets the cart drag him. Yes. He perfectly illustrated how we both felt about the wine cup situation. What I would have given for a camera.

Needless to say, Ryan's mom went and bought the wine cups she really wanted. We didn't care either way, so everyone's happy.

But I didn't expect this tidal wave of apathy. We've got our major bases covered, and I can't help but think that no one is going to notice detaily nonsense. I think I'm so steeped in the wedding blog land philosophy of "it's about the marriage, the union, not about the details," which is a good thing. We picked a great church, we wrote a beautiful ceremony, or reception hall is lovely all on its own without many decorations...I know that we're in good shape. But wow am I glad we aren't doing lots of last minute things, like programs or whatever...because they would definitely fall to the wayside with this streamlining we've got going on.

I love it, this streamlining. All I can think when these details come up is "I want a nap" then "we're getting MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!"

We've done what we can to make this a beautiful wedding and I'm just not interested in doing any more than what we've already done. It's going to be an ethereal day regardless.

Anyone else completely losing interest in detaily nonsense, or did have serious lack of caring right before your wedding?


  1. There is no reason to care about these details and frankly its refreshing to hear that you're sticking to the important part... GETTING MARRIED!
    This week will fly by, I promise!

  2. Oh I'm SO glad to hear this!! Now that you're 4 days away what would be the point of stressing/freaking out/caring. Because really? It doesn't matter. The Thursday before our wedding there was a slight snafu that yes, I cared about, but after it was solved it was smooth sailing!

    You're doing exactly what you should be doing: letting other people take over. If you have friends/family coming in from out of town try to spend as much non-wedding related time with them as you can. The week of our wedding I went out Tuesday and Thursday nights because damn it I deserved it. If you can swing it I definitely recommend it.

    Home stretch, girlfriend!!!!

  3. Don't feel bad for feeling that've already put so much time and effort into it and like you said, it's going to be great...the last minute details, no one will care about! Enjoy it!

  4. I think it's totally mother in law was amazing and handled so many last minute details that I was just "over."

    4 days...wahoo!

  5. Yes. Well, to be fair, it's not really losing interest, it's more that I'm lazy. So the discussion about anything that's left usually goes like this: What has to be done? Okay, what do we want it to be? How can it happen with as little money and effort as possible? Because that's it, really . . . at this point I'm burned out!

  6. Aww, yay! Yay about there being a point where THE DETAILS DON'T MATTER ANYMORE. This is an important lesson for those of us a few months out (ahem, ME, ahem ahem).

    In the meantime, I think you're right. If you don't care, let people who really care do the extra work. If you don't care and need them to do something else, say no.

    Or curl into the fetal position.

  7. i think it sounds like the most sane course of action - you have enough big things to stress about of have butterflies about, you dont need to add a lot of little things to that list. on another note - i can't believe it's this weekend!!! hooray!!!

  8. You're so close! There's absolutely nothing wrong with feeling that way. Your day will be here before you know it, and you'll be married! And that's all that matters!

  9. Your mindset is amazing and I hope I feel like that the week before my wedding. 4 days left--so exciting!

  10. I was TOTALLY like this the week before our wedding, and the day before (with our florist). I was soo ready to be married to my lover and was just totally OVER all the details and crap-ola that came with them. Congrats girl, you are almost there. I'm so happy for you! You are going to be a beautiful bride and will have a FABULOUS wedding! Can't wait to see you from the 'other side'. {hearts}

  11. hahahahahaha. I wish you would have told me about the fetal position incident. What a good chuckle I just got. I can totally see Ryan doing that.

    You know my thoughts on this---that you are a ROCKSTAR and this day is going to be beautiful. I can't wait to see it and am so thankful to be a part of it!

    Also, I think we should call the signature drink either "Love Potion Number 9" OR "The Honeymooner's Hurricane." Just a thought.


  12. I definitely cared about all the details, but I refused to be dealing with anything in the last 2 weeks before the wedding. So I gave myself plenty of time to make every decision and to get it all done before that final crunch time. If it wasn't done at least 10 days before the wedding, it didn't get done or get a thought.

    While I was glad that I was able to relax and not worry about things in the last days and even on the day of the wedding, in the end, I wish I would have paid more attention and not been so apathetic because I ended up regretting a few things that were somewhat important to me but I didn't care about on the day where the wedding party would stand during the ceremony...and how my hair looked on the day of the wedding. I just didn't care...and now I wish I would have. But oh well, such is life.


Hearing from you all makes my day!