Thursday, February 4, 2010

Not Enough?

I've had this sneaky suspicion that I'm not doing enough for the wedding.

I mean detail wise. Our reception hall is beautiful, nice and neutral with shining wood floors, lofty ceilings and windows. We aren't doing much at all to it-just our centerpieces and a table in the entry with the guest book. We'll have a table for gifts with a cardbox, maybe candles in the windows...and that's it.

Our invitations are super simple. Our ceremony is going to be right around 30 minutes and the church won't be decorated (it's pretty just the way it is). Our rehearsal dinner is going to be simple and laid back.

But I'm stressing that I'm not doing enough. We don't have any cute details, like personalized table names or home made favors. Our decorations are simple and minimal. We don't have apothecary jars filled with roses (I saw those today and almost died).

Ryan and I are simple, laid back people. We don't like to mess with all kinds of stuff, we don't like for things to be complicated. So us carrying that attitude over into our wedding planning was only natural. And we did keep the appearance of the venue in mind so we could get away without doing much at all to it.

Bottom line, I want our wedding to be meaningful. I want the love Ryan and I feel each other to radiate off of us. I want the day to be a great party. I want people to eat Italian soul food and have a rocking good time.

Because while pictures of the cute little details are all around on the blogosphere, am I really going to be looking happily at pictures of coordinated jam labels in our wedding album 10 years from now? No. I hope I'm looking at pictures of people grinning, laughing hysterically and dancing until they are exhausted. If a keg stand happens, all the better.

Honestly, my energy is right now is being used making sure I get 5 workouts a week in, cuddling my dog, making sure Ryan and I stay connected even though we're long distance, etc...not on details.

So is this sudden feeling on inadequacy a symptom of too-much-wedding-blog syndrome? I don't know, but I suddenly feel hopelessly inadequate in the details department, even though I know deep down that's not what matters. Have you ever felt this way?


  1. It will be meaningful. You are getting married!

    I, personally, think detail pictures are crazy. Really? You are taking a photo of inantimate objects to cherish forever? WHY?!?

    My friend has pictures of her flowers, centerpieces and guestbook hanging on her wall, but not a picture of the wedding party or her relatives. I think it is weird. LOVE her, but still weird.

  2. It sounds like it could be a case of too-much-wedding blogs to me! If you and Ryan are simple, laid back people, your wedding should be too! I agree with Cupcake Wedding; what will be meaningful won't be the little details but the people and the wedding day moments. Don't be hard on yourself! :o)

  3. Sometimes I feel this way, and I definitely think it's wedding blog related. Especially when I have Style Me Pretty yelling at me every day that "It's all in the details, you silly bride!!!!" Ugh...I stopped reading SMP a few weeks ago and I feel so much better about my wedding.

    Anyway, your wedding will be incredibly meaningful because of the details that the wedding blogs always gloss over: your vows; the look Ryan has on his face the first time he sees you; the conversations/well wishes/hugs/kisses/tears/laughs you share with all of your guests. Those things will make it meaningful.

  4. Yes, we could all stand to step away from the Style Me Pretty every now and then. I think it's important to take on the projects you want to, and forget about those that you feel aren't necessary. Apothecary jars aren't going to make your day any more special. And I agree, you will want to see pictures of your guests laughing, dancing and having a good time. These are far more valuable than photos showing that your program and menu fonts are the same.

    P.S. 5 workouts a week = mad props!!!

  5. I feel you...I still havent picked out centerpieces! Everything will be pretty minimal because 1) we dont have the money to do it up and 2) even if we did, we wouldn't. We're pretty simple too. There is something to be said about a wedding that is about the love of the couple, not the decor.

  6. I kinda felt this way after my wedding. Wished we had included a few more fancy little details. But you know what - you are the only one that will notice them.

    We made place cards with our deer logo from our invitations. And the only person that said anything about them thought they were reindeers because our wedding was so close to Christmas. We spent ages making them, and yes they looked cool, but no one remembers them!

  7. The details you have chosen are simple, but well stated. Your centerpieces are going to set of the table and the room. It will be amazing the way your simple details set off the room. Once your party gets started, it will be the people that are the details in your pics.
    Don't worry! You are doing a great job with your planning. I personally think you have a knack for making the right choices.

  8. I have to say that this is the time you stop looking at websites like Style Me Pretty and the Wedding Chicks. I stopped looking months ago because everytime I did, it made our wedding feel inadequate. I think you have it straight, the day is about the two of you. Years later no one is going to remember the coordinating jars of jam, or any other crazy detail. The only thing they will probably remember is how happy you both looked and how honored they felt to be apart of your day... and probably the fun they had dancing at your reception! This is my outlook on it too. Sure, if I do little cute details... thats nice, but I'm not fretting over it. You got the right train of thought for sure!

  9. I think this is a result of too much pretty wedding-blog-itis. A wedding is supposed to reflect the couple getting married and you said yourself you're not into details and like it simple, so your wedding should follow suit. There's nothing wrong with poring over pretty pictures but don't feel bad you're not incorporating some of them. Sounds to me like your wedding's going to be a perfect representation of who you are :)

  10. I definitely think your wedding should reflect your personalities, style and YOUR priorities for the event. If you're not into all of those details, then you shouldn't worry about it. Yesterday, a girlfriend and I were chatting about how she is going to a cousin's wedding next weekend for 250 people. She said "It is going to be very casual so I don't know why she invited 250 people...she's not going to have all the details that you will at your wedding." I told her, "Ya know what, every wedding is supposed to be personal and unique to the specific couple. So if that's what your cousin wanted, there's nothing wrong with it. It's who they are." And that should be celebrated.

    We also chose our venue with the hope that we wouldn't have to do too much to it decor wise. Although I do have several little details that I wanted to incorporate, and I do love all those little detail shots, I also know what's important to focus on and what truly matters most to us. And it sounds like you do, too. Don't let yourself get caught up in feeling're doing what matters. You're focusing on the important priorities and your big day will be beautiful and full of love and joy. So relax and don't stress. Embrace the fact that you don't have to stress over getting little things done - like me! :)

  11. I didn't stress about my wedding. I basically let my Mom plan it. When there was almost a monsoon on the day of, when I was supposed to be getting married on the beach in Jamaica, I didn't stress. I was just happy to be getting married to my man. 5 years later, I have the BEST memories from my wedding. It was awesome and amazing. All that other crap? I didn't need it :)

  12. I had the same worries with my hall when we were doing that sort of reception. The most important thing is that people only notice what you DO, not what you DON'T do. It will be so lovely Stacy!



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