Friday, October 29, 2010

Not Cool

You guys.

A dear, dear friend of mine, Melissa, is getting married a week from tomorrow. I'm a bridesmaid in her wedding.

Last night, her matron of honor called her and dropped out of the wedding.

She didn't drop out of the wedding because of a death in the family, or a sick husband or child, but because of selfish reasons. She was in charge of the bachelorette party, and she refused to let anyone help her plan it. The planning was very poor, prices for the party doubled overnight on Wednesday for all of the participants, and she called the bride, wanting the bride to front the extra money. She "tearfully" called another bridesmaid and turned over the planning of the party to her the day before yesterday.

In conclusion, this girl is embaressed. Her solution is to drop out of the wedding. Scratch that. She had her husband call Melissa's fiance and drop out FOR HER.

This post isn't to crucify the ex-matron of honor, but I wanted you all to have enough background to know that her reasons for dropping out are selfish. I feel that she needs to suck it up and stand up with Melissa regardless of how embaressed she is. Because that's what friends do.

I am heartbroken for Melissa. Her wedding planning road has been rocky at best, and I hurt for her, because she has had to work so hard to isolate the joy in this process. She has had to cling so hard to her love for her almost-husband in the face of some really ugly family nonsense and now, some really ugly friend nonsense. I wish I could do something for her, to ease this a bit. But all I can do right now is listen and do whatever I can to make sure she has a blast tomorrow at her bachelorette. Which doesn't feel like it's nearly enough.

It's just another reminder that wedding planning truly does bring out the best, and the worst in people. And sometimes it's a reminder of the warm and lovely people you have around you, and sometimes it's a reminder that a close friendship wasn't at all what you thought it would be.

I hate hate HATE this for her. She's so close to wedded bliss, then this happens.

Did bad behavior surface during your wedding/wedding planning? Do you have anything warm and fuzzy to pass on to Melissa? I know how much kind comments can help when bad things happen!


  1. I know some people aren't the "cursing" type, but I am. So sorry for this if it offends anyone, but honestly, what.a.bitch. Who does that? Drops out of a damn wedding (as the MATRON OF HONOR?!?!?) a week before because SHE is embarrassed? Also, "matron" means she's married, right? So HELLO, you've gone through this before...have some respect for your fellow bride. Wow. I'm so upset for your friend.

    Melissa, honey, I'm so sorry. If I could hug you, I would (although I know you don't know me and it would be kind of creepy, but sometimes even a hug from a stranger makes things a little better). All of that "at the end of the day you'll still be married" BS probably sounds like, well, BS right now. But it's true. However, I know these things will stay with you this weekend at your bach party, next week in your final days of planning, at the rehearsal, and especially on your wedding day. Try your best to look for silver linings, for the "bright side." Embrace the love that's coming your way. Let other people worry about their problems because those problems are just that: their own, not yours.

    Your wedding day will be beautiful even if there are ugly feelings lurking. Luckily, you have the awesome Stacy by your side :)

  2. If I've said it once, I'll say it again: weddings bring out the CRAZIES in people and you really find out who your friends are when you're planning one. This behavior is COMPLETELY SELFISH and that ex-MOH should feel totally and completely ASHAMED. RUDE, RUDE, RUDE--I am really pissed off for your friend! What a bitch, seriously. How selfish can you get?! If I could say one thing to that so-called friend, it would be this: Get over yourself--the wedding isn't about you, it's about your friend and her fiance. Any embarrassment you feel over your poor party-planning skills pales in comparison to the crap you just pulled on your friend.

    Melissa, I'll echo what Em said: I am so sorry this is happening to you. Try to remember that even though it's a sucky situation right now, at the end of next week, you will be a wife--married to your HUSBAND!! :) This "friend" may have hurt you now, but trust me--the love you will feel from others on your wedding day and these next few days leading up to it will trump anything that's going on right now. So hang in there, and know that in the end, it will all work out. And I'm sure your wonderful friend Stacy and your other bridesmaids will MORE than step up to the plate to ensure that your wedding is just as beautiful and joy-filled as you imagined it to be!

  3. ugh. i had some unfortunate circumstances and some bad behavior in my bridal party...all i can say is on the day i wasnt focusing on the people who werent there or who was acting out for whatever immature reason - i put the blinders up and focused on those who were proud to be there for me to keep me occupied, or entertained, or fed, or calm. in the end i had a peaceful intimate day because of it...i say, if you see drama now be thankful if it leaves the room on it's own...

    I can't believe that the MOH of all people would drop out! Just remind her that she will be married next week and that's all that matters!!


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