1 Year

Sunday was our 1 year anniversary. I had no idea a year could go by so fast! We made this year count too-we bought a house, we both started new careers, and we adopted 2 puppies. No wonder it's gone by so fast.


Here's the highlight reel, mostly because I just haven't gotten over how much I love our pictures yet:

All photographs courtesy of Gail Fleming.

This is how vain I am: I purposefully did not preserve my wedding dress (or um, have it cleaned, *cough*) so that I can try it on every year on our anniversary. Because I'd prefer that it continue to fit.

So it's Sunday morning, and Ryan and I are sitting down to a lovely breakfast that included the best bacon of all time (from a no-hormone, no-antibiotic, happy pig farm), and Ryan goes "So how bad is my day going to be if this dress doesn't fit?" Luckily we didn't have to find out! It zipped right up like a dream. Don't you wish you could wear your dress again? It reminded me how much I love my dress. And how much I need to get mine cleaned! It's filthy. But the dry cleaning costs like $150, and I am not excited about dropping that much cash. Maybe with my Christmas money!

How was your first anniversary? Did your first year of marriage go by fast too? Did you preserve your dress? Are you vain like me and busted it back out?

Humph

WHY NOT A YEAR AGO VERA, WHY?

David's Bridal has an incredibly affordable and lovely collection of bridal gowns courtesy of Vera Wang herself. I LOVE high end stuff brought down to a level of affordability that makes it more accessible. But why, oh why, could this not have happened last year, when I was wedding dress shopping?

Source

That one on the far right? I for sure would've rushed in to try that on, sans the belt.

Seriously though, it makes me so happy to see such a high end, unique designer make lovely gowns available to a much wider price point-the gowns range from $500-$1500.

Do you see things that you wish you would've had access to/known about when you were wedding planning?

Blogged!

Wow I'm slow on the uptake...but our wedding was blogged by our photographer, Gail Fleming! You can check it out here, and if you aren't 100% sick of our wedding pictures yet, at the bottom of the post you can click on "Stacy and Ryan slideshow" to see a sampling of pictures.

I just love our wedding!

Not Cool

You guys.

A dear, dear friend of mine, Melissa, is getting married a week from tomorrow. I'm a bridesmaid in her wedding.

Last night, her matron of honor called her and dropped out of the wedding.

She didn't drop out of the wedding because of a death in the family, or a sick husband or child, but because of selfish reasons. She was in charge of the bachelorette party, and she refused to let anyone help her plan it. The planning was very poor, prices for the party doubled overnight on Wednesday for all of the participants, and she called the bride, wanting the bride to front the extra money. She "tearfully" called another bridesmaid and turned over the planning of the party to her the day before yesterday.

In conclusion, this girl is embaressed. Her solution is to drop out of the wedding. Scratch that. She had her husband call Melissa's fiance and drop out FOR HER.

This post isn't to crucify the ex-matron of honor, but I wanted you all to have enough background to know that her reasons for dropping out are selfish. I feel that she needs to suck it up and stand up with Melissa regardless of how embaressed she is. Because that's what friends do.

I am heartbroken for Melissa. Her wedding planning road has been rocky at best, and I hurt for her, because she has had to work so hard to isolate the joy in this process. She has had to cling so hard to her love for her almost-husband in the face of some really ugly family nonsense and now, some really ugly friend nonsense. I wish I could do something for her, to ease this a bit. But all I can do right now is listen and do whatever I can to make sure she has a blast tomorrow at her bachelorette. Which doesn't feel like it's nearly enough.

It's just another reminder that wedding planning truly does bring out the best, and the worst in people. And sometimes it's a reminder of the warm and lovely people you have around you, and sometimes it's a reminder that a close friendship wasn't at all what you thought it would be.

I hate hate HATE this for her. She's so close to wedded bliss, then this happens.

Did bad behavior surface during your wedding/wedding planning? Do you have anything warm and fuzzy to pass on to Melissa? I know how much kind comments can help when bad things happen!

Thank You's

We had 3 showers and a wedding, all with beyond generous family and friends. Needless to say, we have been busy with thank you cards for months now (we have under 10 left to write and we're all done with the wedding thank yous!). While I would love to buy pretty thank you cards off of Etsy, with the volume we're writing, it just isn't feasible financially...but I can't stand to send out boring ones on crappy paper.

So thank you, Target, for your letterpress thank you cards that run $12.99 for a box of 50. They're pretty, the paper feels nice, and they don't break the bank.

We've gone through 2 boxes of these and are working on box #3:

Source

Aren't these pretty too?

Source

They have way more options in the store, PS.

Where did you get your thank you cards?

Things that went wrong

I write this post not to sound like a downer or to sound negative, but to let you know that stuff will go wrong, and that you'll still have a beautiful day. You might not even care, I know I didn't!

Here goes....

-At 1:30 (we had to leave for the church by 2:30), my Dad realized that he had left the pants to his suit in my hometown, 2 hours away. So he made a frantic run to Macy's and picked up some pants. He was back right at 2:30!

-People were late for pre-ceremony photos. We still had time left over.

-The heat index was 110 that day. We would take 10-15 minutes of photos outside, then go in for 20 minutes or so. That way no one looked like a sweaty mess. Ideal? No. Workable? Of course.

-We did a receiving line before the wedding, but tons of people arrived right at 5 (when the ceremony started), and we ended the receiving line at about 4:45. So we missed some people. We ended up catching 95% of our guests between the receiving line and the reception.

-The church had ac pouring out of vents where the guests were sitting, but the vents on the stage where we were were not functioning. We were pouring sweat throughout the entire ceremony.

-My shoes KILLED my feet. I still have scars 2 weeks later. I just wore my flats I brought whenever I could. But those heels were so gorgeous they were hardcore worth it.

-We didn't get a formal picture with my grandmother. The photographer actually got a candid shot that is way better than any posed picture could've been.

-We caravaned to Forest Park, and no one knew where to meet (apparently the designated meeting spot was a mystery to everyone), so the first 10 minutes (and we only had 40 minutes) were spent trying to get everyone to the same place. This was stressful, but it worked out. People got to spend a bit more time in air conditioned cars, so it was probably for the best!

-Some of the ushers made a pit stop so we were 15 minutes late for our reception entrance.

-Ryan and I messed up on our first dance. He had a tough time navigating my dress and we ended too early (which was totally my fault). It was fine, we just stood there and made out. No one noticed the mess ups. I'm 100% sure they noticed the making out.

-I drank too much champagne on an empty stomach and had a rough 10 minutes wondering if I was going to puke or not. I wasn't drunk, just a bit tipsy at worst (or best, right?), but I missed some crazy antics on the dance floor. I barely ate that day and the whole week before, so that did not help. Don't worry, I didn't puke!

-The bustle ripped out of my dress so I had a half-*ssed train for most of the night.

-This is the biggest one. The bartenders for the reception was the woman who ran the Polish Heritage Center and her husband. We'd been paying them with checks for deposits, etc for a year with no problems, and figured that we'd be paying the bartenders (which we booked through the hall) the exact same way. Ryan's mom went up to pay her, and that's when the woman who ran the center insisted that she wanted cash. Like $200 in cash. So Ryan's Dad and my Dad had it all worked out, and the lady was going to get her d*mn cash. Ryan and I are dancing to the last song, kind of by ourselves towards the back of the hall, and the woman comes up to us demanding like $300 (a 3rd keg had to be tapped, so thats where that extra hundred comes in, but I hadn't heard a thing about any of this..it was all news to me and a bit of a shock!). Apparently my face just fell, Ryan's mom comes dashing up to try to intercept the woman, and it was just really sucky in general. I think I cared for a grand total of 3 minutes.

I think about every thing that could've gone wrong...and it was quite a bit, because we had no wedding coordinator or day of coordinator to handle it for us. We brought everything in ourselves, separately, and there is so much that could've gone south. But it didn't. We have an amazing family, equally incredible friends, and they all wanted us to have a beautiful day. And we most certainly did.

It was such a huge, intense, emotional, overwhelming, gorgeous, blissed out day, that it would've taken sooooo much more than what happened to bring me down even a little bit. That's why I say I didn't care, because it all felt so small and insignificant and silly and 100% inconsequential compared to the day itself.

Let crap go wrong, you'll be so up high on Cloud 9 that you won't even notice!

And the lady who ran the center called and apologized to Ryan, which was nice. Happy endings all around!

What went wrong at your wedding? Did you give a rat's *ss?

Amuse Bouche

So pictures have been demanded, and you guys are right, I do have some that friends have posted on Facebook (that I look at a dozen times a day). Here's a little amuse bouche until the pro pics are in, I catch up on my sleep and try to figure some of this married thing out:

Maids of honor + me during pre-ceremony pics.

Married!

Melissa and I, getting ready to head to the church.

Cake! Ryan surprised me with. No words people, no words. Best cake ever. And the vases with the carnations and branches were our centerpieces.

B-maids + me in Forest Park by some rocks Ryan loves.

It was super, super hot; the heat index was 107. So the air vents in the church were very helpful.

Stay tuned for the pro pics!

And now back to your regularly scheduled programming...

I'm married!

And I have no idea where to start.

I'm just now tacking coherent words onto Saturday. I need some time to gather my thoughts and process all of this, and I am almost afraid to "shake the glitter off." I also have no clue how to do recaps. I'll fill you all in on the wedding, the pictures, etc, but I have to get it all straight in my head first. It was such an intense day!

Also...Ryan and I live in the same town. In the same house! Which leads me to finally tell you all....Ryan got the coaching job he's been working towards for years. He has paid his dues and then some, and I couldn't be happier for him. His first day was yesterday, and I have never felt more humbly blessed in my life. We waited to tell 95% of our family and friends until after the toasts at the wedding, and every single person in that room stood up and applauded Ryan. I don't have any words for how I felt at that moment. We were both speechless.

Since Ryan started his dream job 2 days after the wedding, we are putting off a honeymoon for now. I don't mind nearly as much as I thought I would. Having him in the same house is a honeymoon after being 2 hours apart for over a year.

We're starting off our marriage with everything we have ever dreamed of, and I am sitting back and soaking it all in. I'll keep you all posted as soon as I can string some thoughts together on the wedding. It was all so huge I'm having quite a time with it!

End of the Road

Well, ladies (and gentlemen?), this is it. I'm leaving for St. Louis after work today to kick off the wedding weekend. It feels like we've been planning this for forever, but then it feels like it crept up on us so quickly! I have Friday and Monday off, and Monday I have some really exciting stuff I have been dying to tell you all but can't until after the wedding. I'll fill you in on the honeymoon then.

Source

This wedding planning process has not always been fun, and it has been 100x more difficult than I ever thought it would be. Job stress + a long distance relationship + wedding planning was a pretty wicked combo...but with all of that being said, I am very thankful that we had the kind of engagement that we had. I learned and grew so much, and it wasn't even a little bit easy. Learning how to fight, argue and disagree with Ryan in a respectful and loving way was hard; but I am completely positive that the conflict resolution skills we hammered out between the 2 of us will come in handy. Growth does not feel good, and parts of the engagement did not.

Parts of it did feel really good though. Seeing how happy my family is for me, that I've found someone who loves me so much, and seeing how happy Ryan's family is that he found someone who loves him so much has been amazing. Ryan's family has welcomed me in like one of their own, and so many people have offered their help and support.

Just like you all have. I am absolutely positive that we would not be having the wedding we're having without the blogging community. Thank you all, from the bottom of my heart, for reading, commenting, and putting up with all my crazy. You have truly added a whole new dimension to wedding planning, and I am so grateful for that.

I feel so ready for this. And I'm so, so over the moon happy.

Caring and How We Just Don't Right Now

So....we're 4 days out, and a wave of apathy has washed over both Ryan and I. Which is unfortunate, because at least ONE of us needs to care long enough to make decisions.

Here's what I mean.

Saturday we're at Costco with Ryan's mom, buying cups for the reception. Since we're bringing everything in to the reception hall ourselves (and consequently saving a ton of money), we are responsible for the cups for both the bar and everyone else. So we needed cups for the water/iced tea/lemonade and for the beer, wine and signature drink (which is cranberry juice, rum, and pineapple juice. Anyone got any funny name ideas?). We bought clear plastic 14 or 16 ounce cups for the beer, iced tea/water/lemonade, and we were buying clear plastic 10 ounce cups for the signature drink that we were also going to use for wine.

Ryan's mom really didn't think the 10 ounce cups would work for wine, and she had some in mind that she thought would look better. She pretty much insisted on them, which is fine, I don't really care one way or the other, but Ryan and I are in this streamlining mode...where if we have to invest a single iota of extra effort into it, then we are not interested. The 10 ounce cups didn't look bad, and they were THERE...the other cups were at Sam's Club and would require an additional trip. Which we were 100% uninterested in. So Ryan's mom is telling us how she can go and get them and we won't have to mess with it, and Ryan curls up in the fetal position, on the floor of Costco, and lets the cart drag him. Yes. He perfectly illustrated how we both felt about the wine cup situation. What I would have given for a camera.

Needless to say, Ryan's mom went and bought the wine cups she really wanted. We didn't care either way, so everyone's happy.

But I didn't expect this tidal wave of apathy. We've got our major bases covered, and I can't help but think that no one is going to notice detaily nonsense. I think I'm so steeped in the wedding blog land philosophy of "it's about the marriage, the union, not about the details," which is a good thing. We picked a great church, we wrote a beautiful ceremony, or reception hall is lovely all on its own without many decorations...I know that we're in good shape. But wow am I glad we aren't doing lots of last minute things, like programs or whatever...because they would definitely fall to the wayside with this streamlining we've got going on.

I love it, this streamlining. All I can think when these details come up is "I want a nap" then "we're getting MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!"

We've done what we can to make this a beautiful wedding and I'm just not interested in doing any more than what we've already done. It's going to be an ethereal day regardless.

Anyone else completely losing interest in detaily nonsense, or did have serious lack of caring right before your wedding?

Guest Blog from Maid of Honor/Youngest Sister, Mary Chris

Hello followers of my fellow sister’s blog. I’m Mary, Stacy’s youngest sister (note that I am taller) and 2nd in line maid of honor. She asked me to make a guest appearance…so here I am.

Also, an FYI: I am fluent in sarcasm.

Here’s my guide to being the best maid of honor:

1. Just smile and agree. Face it, if it’s not the bride’s way, then it’s the highway
2. Order your dress RIGHT when the bride asks or prepare for havoc
3. Give everything a chance. I didn’t like the idea of fabric flowers, but hey, they turned out to be gorgeous!
4. Make sure you help with the most important task: wedding cake tasting
5. Prepare for the reception by playing “Just Dance” for the Wii.
6. Know how to make a TP dress just in case the actual dress rips…and for bridal parties
7. Force the bride to pee before putting on the dress. Stacy, I will NOT hold a bucket for you to pee in day of.
8. Be there to listen. Most of the time, if you just say, “Yes, of course, etc,” while she’s on a rant, then it will all simmer down. She didn’t want your opinion, just someone to explode on.
9. Make sure that MC Hammer is on the DJ’s playlist
10. Write the toast more than 2 weeks prior…trust me, bad idea.

Yes, I know Allison would have completely different guidelines, but hey, I am the better maid of honor J.

Thanks Mary! You rock my face off!

On Tanning

Yes, I am tanning for the wedding. I know how horrendous it is for you. I am tanning for the 3 weeks prior to my wedding for maybe 10 minutes at a time, and it is the last time I ever plan on getting into a tanning bad.

Now that we've got that out of the way....so I'm tanning for the wedding because I am super pasty. Ryan, being part Italian, has this lovely olive skin that turns this bronzed golden brown after maybe 30 seconds in the sun. All the while my veins are showing very clearly through my skin. One of Ryan's favorite games is to show me his tanlines, or hold his golden arm up to my pasty one and say "Look how PASTY you are! You're so WHITE."

It's super fun for him.

Needless to say, I am slightly....bored with this game. And I knew I was going to tan for the wedding anyway. I haven't seen Ryan since the 4th, so I wanted to show up in St Louis this weekend crazy tan and be like "WHAT'S UP, who's pasty NOW." Last night Alli and I are on our way to Target and she's all "um, you know how you told me I need to tell you when to stop tanning? Yeah well that's right now, you need to stop tanning." And I was bummed, because I want to WIN (win what, I know, but I've just got that moment where I show up on Friday all tanned and golden goddessy looking and prove something, not sure what in my head, I can't let it go). Then Alli told me that 11 days before my wedding is the worst possible time for a tanning contest.

I think she's right...but I just can't get rid of this stupid sports bra tan line! I think I'll go maybe twice more and lay off.

Did you do something beauty wise that you normally never do before your wedding?

Wedding Night Hotel

Just booked the wedding night hotel.

Here are some fun snippets from the conversation:

"Hi! My name is Stacy and I'm getting married July 24th, I needed to book a hotel room for my husband and I."

Reservation blah blah blah credit card number blah blah blah

"So how many people will be staying in that room with you?"

"Um...2? It's our wedding night? Other people would be super creepy."

"You know, you're right, it would. I have to ask though. Stupid questions."

Reservation blah blah blah

"So is this going to be your first time?"

"My first time...what? My first time what?"

"You know, your first wedding."

"Whew. Yes, my first wedding!"

Heheehehehehe.

Booze and 15

Source

Even though our caterer really has nothing to do with the booze, she was still nice enough to do some research and help us figure out how much alcohol we need.

Side note: Everything we're doing is separate. The hall provides nothing, so we're bringing everything in ourselves, which is great because we know that we're getting the best possible price, but it increases the complication factor. So we can't just tell the hall how many people we need to serve alcohol to, we have to figure it out ourselves and bring it all in. Which is completely fine, its what we signed on for, but...lots to figure out.

So it looks like we're going to have about 225 people there, and Ryan has 15ish co-workers arriving after dinner for party time. So that puts our number of drinkers at about 240. We're serving 2 kinds of wine (chardonnay and cabernet), 2 kinds of beer (Budweiser and Budselect...we had 3 whopping options, but no big), and a signature drink that will consist of cranberry juice, pineapple juice and rum. Oh yes.

We'll be ordering:

80 bottles of wine, 30 red and 50 white

2 half barrels (known as kegs) of beer, 1 of Budweiser and 1 of Budselect

6 1.5 liter bottles of rum, 7 gallons of pineapple juice and 7 gallons of cranberry juice

I feel like such an alcoholic ordering all of this! I feel this urge to be like, "So I need to order 80 bottles of wine but I'M GETTING MARRIED AND ITS FOR MY WEDDING I SWEAR I'M NOT GOING TO DRINK IT ALL MYSELF."

We're ordering the kegs from the reception hall even though they're just a bit more expensive, simply because my brain hurts from all of these logistics and I don't want to try to figure out how to get them to the hall and then back to the beer place they came from. The rum we'll be getting from Costco ($17.99/1.5 liter!) and the wine is from Trader Joe's, at $2.99/bottle. I've done a taste test, and it is delicious.

So while I'm really glad we're handling everything separately, because I know we're saving a ton of $$$, but I do see why people pay 1 price to have all of this in one place for them. And we are very lucky in that Ryan's family and friends in St. Louis are being beyond helpful. Get this-his mom's neighbor, who I've met ONCE, is driving a car down to the reception sight mere hours before the wedding to help set up our entire reception for us, including the centerpieces.

Also speaking of lucky....my friend and bridesmaid Melissa is coming to Cape tonight and staying until Sunday morning, just to help me with last minute wedding stuff. Wine will be involved. I can't even tell you how excited I am to see her!

15 Days out my friends! I haven't lost my mind yet, but we've still got plenty of time for that to happen.

Wedding Day Salutations

RYAN GO AWAY.

Sorry to ask you to scroll lovelies....but its in the interest of secrecy.

So I really want to get Ryan a funny/sweet card to open the morning of the wedding. Here are the contenders:

Up first, one that references Ryan's love for aging video games.

Source

This next one will probably offend someone, so if you are a Conservative Christian you might want to skip this.

I just think it's hysterical, but I think this might be more of a I like it deal than anything else.

Source

I think this one might be it. Because let's just say that he feels very liberated...so liberated that he has held me down and farted on me before. Yes, I am still marrying him after that.

Source

Are you getting your hubs a funny card for the day of the wedding?

Almost

So...we're getting married in 18 days.

And it's getting so real. We have a marriage license and everything.

To top this off, we're waiting on some absolutely monumental job stuff with Ryan. Dream come true kind of job stuff.

Lots of waiting is going on. And we're kind of drowning in a sea of details right now (I didn't see this coming...I'm really in to working ahead, but the amount of details we're trying to wade through and sort out is just a touch overwhelming). We aren't just paying a per-head cost, we have a venue, a caterer, a photographer...it's all separate, so all of the coordinating comes down to us. Which is fine, but...a lot right now. But I'm going to get a huge chunk done this week, and then we're going to be in really good shape. Plus I'll be in St Louis the weekend right before the wedding, and I know I can get some odds and ends taken care of then. I don't want the weekend of the wedding to be super stressful.

Did 100000000000 details surprise you close to your wedding?

On Crying and Weddings

Definitely just got teared up watching the preview of Bethenny walking down the aisle in Bethenny's Getting Married.

We're 19 days out, and the thought of walking down that aisle towards Ryan is absolutely cry inducing.

But I'm wearing fake-*ss lashes, this isn't going to work!

Ryan and I are seeing each other before hand, we're taking a ton of pictures, we're doing a receiving line before the ceremony...I hope to goodness I can get as many tears out then as possible, because I don't want to lose it when I see him standing at the altar.

I'm really not that much of a crier (though Ryan would disagree).

So married ladies, fill me in: Did you cry? Did it surprise you that you cried? How much did you cry?

Confession

I have a confession to make.

I picked up my wedding band 2 weeks ago...

and I can't help but wear it around the house sometimes.

Pros and Cons

Con: Our violinist has a busted collarbone. He will not be able to play at the wedding. The music was our wedding gift, we have not budgeted to pay for a ceremony musician.

Pro: We found out now, and not July 23rd.

Anyone know of a violinist who works for cheap in St. Louis and doesn't have a gig July 24th?

Ceremony

Our completed ceremony was sent off to our officiant this morning, and he replied with such kind words. He did mention that it would last 15 minutes at most the way we have it now.

I was aiming for 30 minutes. Hmmm.

We have to add to it. I'm going to ask the officiant to add some length to his homily, but that will buy us maybe 2-3 minutes max.

We aren't having any songs in the middle of the ceremony, and we aren't doing a unity candle or sand ceremony or anything. We have one reading that isn't very long.

Thankfully, Ryan has an idea.